Chapter XXXIV: Creating Detours When Facing Road Delays with Uber Eats & DoorDash
Just about every city or town has a mainline railroad track often crossing roads that take you into other important areas. And, perhaps far too frequent, is the chance of a train breaking down or stopping—hence blocking you from gaining access to main arterials. This usually happens as the result of mechanical issues, or the unfortunate situation of people committing suicide somewhere up the track line. As a result, you may already know it can create frustrating delays when delivering food to people while doing DoorDash or Uber Eats.
Here in Salem, Oregon, the above happens far too often—sometimes every two weeks or less. It was something I had to deal with various times when needing to deliver food or drinks to someone across town. Yes, it made me wish for flying cars being available NOW and not just ahead in a speculative future.
It’s not merely trains blocking your roads either. You’re going to encounter frequent construction projects on your local streets—unless your city is broke and has no money to fix those potholes. Add in the possibility of street protestors that are far more prevalent now than ever. They can be worse than halted trains.
How do you deal with these road blockages, and what kind of detours can you find to avoid sitting and cussing away in your car? This is not an easy subject to solve, though I do have some answers for you. But, it’s usually not any help from Google or Apple Maps.
Train Breakdowns
Most train breakdowns in my city were freight trains. This was the most unfortunate type of train stoppage because freight trains measure much longer than travel trains like Amtrak. Once in a while, though, an Amtrak train was stopped due to an object (or person) in the way on the tracks. In that case, it was multiple dozens of travelers being delayed as much as I was.
One thing about my local mainline track is that if the train is long enough, it’s going to mean every possible passageway to the other side of town becoming blocked. This happened numerous times to me, despite once being lucky enough to find an intersection free. The train moved up just enough to allow traffic to get through more than a mile away.
If you encounter a train breakdown, you might be stuck in a traffic jam of other waiting cars, depending on time of day. The worst time is on a weekday while delivering for the lunch hour. Although it seemed that the majority of train stalls for me were on weekend afternoons. Regardless, it still caused traffic snarls.
You’ll probably find that most drivers around you will try to find a way to back up and get out of there. Whatever you do, don’t just sit and spout every profanity. The first thing you need to do is get into the Uber or DoorDash chat box and tell the customer you’re delivering to that you’re delayed by a stopped train. You should be communicating with them already while on your way as I’ve recommended here many times.
Let them know you’ll be delayed by the train and you’ll attempt to find a detour to get there as soon as possible. Most customers are going to be understanding about this since there isn’t a lot that can be done.
On the other hand, if traffic manages to back up and clear out enough, you have a way to escape and find a detour. Here’s a big problem, though: Uber and DoorDash’s GPS system (Google Maps as default) doesn’t offer any detours in emergency situations.
The GPS still insists you take the route it thinks is best for you to get to the delivery destination. I managed to get out of the way and drive up the line to find a free intersection to drive through. Every time I did, the GPS would just take me back to the same street where the train was sitting. So, I say to Uber and DoorDash: Start adding detours on the GPS to avoid delays. There’s always alternative ways to get anywhere, even if lifelong residents in a town or city may not know exactly what that is.
Having lived in my city since birth, I knew a few detours. Even then, many stalled trains just blocked too many pass-throughs, making any detour impossible, if an hour-long delay going a longer way. Whatever you do, don’t get out of your car and start making a run for it out of desperation.
Your best bet is to study maps of your town or city as thoroughly as you can. Look at alternative places where you can drive under or over railroad tracks so you know exactly where to go if encountering a train that’s stopped for likely hours.
Road Blocks from Construction
Yes, trains are the worst in road blockages because they’re often stalled for at least an hour if not more. Construction projects can also cause frequent delays, if not usually for more than 15 minutes. Still, it’s worth calculating what this might mean for your deliveries without losing your patience.
The good thing here is GPS systems sometimes pick up that there’s construction going on in your city. When I used Apple Maps, it seemed to detect where construction was going on and sometimes outlined an alternative route. However, this was only for longer road work projects and not something unexpected or shorter term.
GPS systems need more time to tell you what’s going on with your local roads. Even then, it’s not always completely accurate, as I found out. Despite road work signs usually showing you how to take a particular detour, it can take you way out of the way of your intended delivery point.
Again, if this happens, go into the chat boxes and tell your customers you’re stuck in a road work zone that’s being held up by a flagger. The real culprit here is heavy traffic having to wait while the flagger allows traffic from the opposite lane to drive through.
Once in a while, you might encounter an impatient driver who doesn’t understand the detours, hence them hurriedly driving through a blocked-off street. I did this once, though not as a DoorDash driver. DON’T do this since you’ll piss off the nearby construction crew, not including possibly being fined for ignoring detours.
Street Protestors
We’re living in very volatile times, and that means the chances of street protestors has grown tenfold in the last few years. Maybe your town or city is more fortunate in being politically neutral. But, even here in Salem, OR (because it’s Oregon’s capital city), I’ve found myself in the middle of some potentially testy protest events.
These street blockages are even more problematic since nobody really knows when a street protest is going to happen—unless you’re one of the protestors seeing it scheduled on social media. For a DoorDash or Uber deliverer like yourself, this could potentially trap you in place for the same amount of time as a broken down train.
While my protestor encounters were not during DoorDash delivery times, the potential was always there. If you find yourself in such an encounter, it’s again imperative to tell your customer what’s happening. They may be shocked when you tell them this, but they’ll usually be understanding. In all likelihood, they’ve encountered street protestors themselves.
To get out of the situation, try to find a quick place to turn around or take a side road. The sooner you can dodge a street protest, the better, even if going out of the way to your destination. Just don’t get frustrated and try to drive through a crowd of people. Worse, it could lead to angry protestors trashing your car.
Finding Detours On Your Own
Again, it’s a good idea to memorize all the main and side arterials within your city. If you’ve just moved to that city or town, get to know ALL the roads before you start delivering for DoorDash. The more you know about alternative routes, the better on DoorDash or Uber not taking it out on you for delivering late.
Let’s hope GPS systems can improve to allow for real-time detours in the event of road blockages. Why that isn’t available already is proof corporations want to skimp on offering better technology for those who work for them.
Sometimes you’ll discover the routes GPS insists are the best way to reach your customer aren’t really the best routes after all. You may find detour routes that shave delivery time at least by a couple of minutes. I’ve discovered a few better routes to arrive to familiar delivery points than the GPS initially told me.
The problem there is DoorDash and Uber say you need to follow the GPS routes provided or face possible deactivation. That’s basically forced technological adherence when said tech doesn’t always know better than a human. Routes I knew were better allowed me to prove to the bots my way was faster.
Just like I said in Chapter 3 about finding your “Center Street” to find more delivery offers, it’s time to find your best detours. A few might mean driving through a gravel road or a side street with Grand Canyon level potholes. Whatever you do, don’t drive through someone’s yard or in spots that say No Trespassing.
In Chapter XXXV, I’ll look at another road problem: Increasing debris in U.S. roads. This can lead to constant flat tires as I too often experienced. It’s best to create a plan for tire maintenance—as in every day.
/End
Chapter XXXIII of Uber Eats/DoorDash Blog (Video Edition)
Chapter XXXIII: Past and Future Issues with Self-Employment Taxes When Doing Uber Eats & DoorDash
Maybe it’s still inevitable that death and taxes are still inevitable, even if the latter is now potentially on the chopping block. And perhaps death can be overcome someday under certain circumstances. While the chances are possibly lesser than 50/50 President Trump will eventually eliminate American income taxes, let’s assume taxes (including self-employment taxes) are still going to be around for a while. DoorDash and Uber Eats will most definitely still warn you about that.
One thing I learned as a freelance writer before the Uber/DoorDash days was, self-employment taxes are a massive head scalp. If you make up to $30,000 or $40,000 per year with your own business, you can expect to pay about $3,000 annually in non-withheld tax. While I paid a little less with DoorDash and Uber, it was still expensive. The IRS continues to think you can pay all that in quarterlies, due four times per year. But, when other expenses get in the way, it’s often challenging to pay even those amounts.
It’s one thing to think about, seriously, if you start working for DoorDash. Some people with no experience paying SE tax still don’t realize you’re an independent contractor when delivering food & drink. And this often gets people into tax debt, something I admit happened to me.
Don’t sit around assuming the IRS and/or income taxes are going to become extinct before the end of 2025. If you’re adamant on doing Uber Eats or DoorDash to make extra money, it’s time to plan a self-employment tax strategy until further notice from the President of the United Taxable States.
Let’s dive into what you might have to pay, how to lessen that amount, and what taxes may look like in a future DoorDash world.
Will You Have to Pay $3000 in Self-Employment Taxes?
Yes, it’s very possible you’ll have to pay in the neighborhood of $3,000 if you do Uber or DoorDash a lot. I met a few people during my Dashing times who told me they did DoorDash as their main job. You really shouldn’t, despite the extreme temptation thanks to the freedom of working your own hours and driving open roads.
I learned the hard way that making money while working from home or via car has a steep tax price. You’re basically chained to the U.S. economic system of having to work for a company (mostly on-site in their workplaces) if you want your taxes withheld.
This was one reason I had to start working for Amazon after working as a freelance writer for 15 years. Anyone who’s gone through self-employment tax hell probably made the same moves due to the 15% SE tax bracket.
Again, just don’t do DoorDash as your only job since you’ll likely end up making far too much money that’ll be taxed. Your best bet is to just make it a side gig with another job. The ideal sweet spot is to simply do DoorDash once per week on a day off. This can fill in well to help you make extra income without getting a steep tax bill by the following April.
There’s still many who do Uber and DoorDash more than three days, though. If you insist on this, be sure to set aside money to pay your quarterlies. This can be a major challenge if you have other expenses you have to pay each month. Unless you have some money set aside for emergencies (and many don’t nowadays), I recommend not doing DoorDash beyond one or two days.
Just keep in mind Uber and DoorDash will ultimately try to push you to deliver as often as possible. Much of that is corporate hype, though it’s entirely up to you based on what you need to do. In the chance you have no choice but to use DoorDash as a means of making money, the best scenario is to work out a payment plan with the IRS after you get the tax bill. This is something I had to do. Fortunately, the IRS became more like a kind uncle in recent years in helping you set up long-form, time payment systems.
With major IRS cuts recently, however, perhaps the existing agents aren’t as kind as they were over the phone.
What About Adding Tips to Your Taxable Income?
The recent “No Tax On Tips Act” in Congress leaves it open now to many employees being able to write off tips as an exemption rather than part of income. While President Trump will supposedly sign this if it passes in both houses of Congress, it’s only designed for restaurant and hospitality workers. Because Uber and DoorDash deliverers are independent contractors, no taxes on tips there won’t yet apply.
Yeah, you probably just scoffed at that piece of info. It also broaches another discussion on whether you should report any tips you get from DoorDash when filing your taxes. If you’ve already done Uber or DoorDash, then you know most customers tip through the app. With this, any tips you get are already on record and added as income.
Once in a while, though, you’ll get tips in cash from your customers. During a delivery run to an outside town here in the valley of Oregon, I received a $100 cash tip from two women who realized I had to drive a bit of a distance to get there. “That was a long fucking drive, right?” One of the women said. “Yeah”, I uttered while my eyes bulged out at the sight of a hundred dollar bill in the other woman’s hand.
It’s cash tips like this that bring a lot of ethical debate when filing your taxes. Considering it’s cash, some might say it’s all under the table and doesn’t apply. Tax professionals will say you absolutely need to report cash tips in the chance the IRS audits you. Others may even say the chances of you being audited are slim, unless you’re making $100,000 per year as a Dasher.
In this case, I say it’s up to you whether to report cash tips. Most of the cash tips I made while delivering were generally from a few bucks to $10. Only occasionally did I receive bigger cash amounts from wealthy families living in the hills of my city.
One thing for sure is that any tips added through the apps will pump up the income you make. Just going by the base pay would otherwise lessen your earnings by far.
What is the Future of Self-Employment Taxes While Doing Uber and DoorDash?
I’d lobby tirelessly (if having the time) to abolish self-employment taxes in general. But I don’t think they’ll ever go away, unless income tax is abolished while Trump is in office. Those of you who do Uber or DoorDash over the coming year or beyond will likely still have to pay SE tax on every penny you make.
By chance income tax goes away, it might attract more people to sign up to deliver for Uber Eats and DoorDash. The only reason many people still want to do food deliveries is no doubt because they don’t initially realize how deep of a head slice self-employment taxes will give them.
You might want to know that DoorDash has been lobbying in Congress to get tax exemptions for those earning tips while delivering. The company wants gig workers who work through apps to enjoy the same tax savings as W-2 employees. Their goal is to add this to the “No Tax On Tips Act”, which still isn’t law at time of this writing.
Reportedly, Uber is advocating the same thing for their drivers and deliverers. Just when you thought corporations like this are greedier than ever, they’re morally standing up for the deliverers to at least save on their taxes.
You can probably say that the IRS scares DoorDash and Uber anyway. The more taxes people have to pay on delivery earnings, the least likely anyone else will want to do the same.
Once the reality of self-employment taxes gets out there, the stats may already show the majority of Uber deliverers and Dashers are those just stuck in it due to inability to have any other job.
It’s best to say use DoorDash and Uber in moderation—something you’d say to all your food and drink recipients.
In Part XXXIV, I’ll cover detours in making deliveries, something you’ll need to think about if roads are blocked—or blocked by trains—while in a rush to deliver.
Video Edition of Part XXXII
Chapter XXXII: The New “Buy Now, Pay Later” Model at DoorDash and the Implications for Deliverers
This segment was originally going to be about self-employment taxes, though now it’s a new breaking news alert on an interesting (if concerning) DoorDash development. It’s about the recent business deal between “Buy Now, Pay Later”, AI-powered service, Klarna, with DoorDash. The intention is to allow more food payment flexibility to economically suffering Americans. And while that might sound like a noble venture, it’s also brought on a lot of deep thinking on social media (yes, really!) about what this portends in the way of adding on to personal debt.
I’m going to dive into this and see what it means for DoorDash customers—though, most importantly, how it affects you, the deliverer.
Based on the recent press release on this deal, both Klarna and DoorDash seem excited at the potential customer convenience. On the DoorDash end, they want people to buy more than just food, with electronics and other spendier things now in the delivery mix. For Klarna, it’s the usual corporate giddiness of being able to partner with a major business partner to up their clout.
Klarna is far from the only “Buy Now, Pay Later” service available. Over the last 5 years, many of these companies have popped up worldwide, with the most familiar to you likely being Affirm, or Apple’s Pay Later. Nearly all let you set up “Pay in 4” installments, some with interest and others not.
I admit to using Affirm a few times, though not for food. It was strictly for more expensive items, like electronics or household products. With Klarna generally ranked third for the most familiar BNPL services, it appears they’re one of the first to venture into allowing later payments for basic food deliveries.
One thing we all know about these companies is that they’re no doubt already being abused. Some people can’t resist putting in a promise to pay later, then renege because they have other expenses to pay, or just don’t have the money.
Let’s look at what that might mean in the way of “food debt” becoming a new depressing issue in America.
Will Americans Abuse the Klarna/DoorDash System?
In a word: Probably. You’ll find those who think these BNPL systems are just loan sharks who let people get into further debt trouble. It’s hard not to argue this stance in a time when economic hardship is at a new high. The divide between being rich and poor is more distinct now than ever, and many don’t even have enough money to buy decent amounts of food.
The idea you can order something from Jack In The Box and pay for it later in the month is far too irresistible. But what happens when someone decides to take risk and just never pays the bill? There may be more people who do that than anyone knows when many want faster fast food fixes.
Not only do fast food restaurants lose money this way, it also hurts DoorDash’s reputation. Plus, you have another little thing that should be the main focus: How does it affect the deliverer financially?
I’d say Klarna should have a provision of taking money out of the customer’s bank account if the bill isn’t paid before the end of the month. Some payday services do this if the loan isn’t paid on the initial due date. All of them also typically take legal action by garnishing paychecks.
The social media world also thinks food debt will become a major new problem in our United States of America. Sure, it sounds improbable, yet lack of any major penalties from Klarna could let the public abuse the system without too much worry. With many already deep in other debt, they may figure food debt is the least of their problems.
As someone who delivered for DoorDash, I also take aim at what this does in deliverers being properly compensated. There hasn’t been any true clarification on what might happen if customers don’t pay their bill right away. It’s worth a quick look at what this means in terms of base pay—plus tips drivers depend on.
Will DoorDash Deliverers Still Be Paid On Time?
One thing about DoorDash is, with every prior customer being forced to pay in the moment, tips often helped drivers make well over $100 in a day. Once I was at Platinum status, I’d always make at least $100, and usually $120-$130 if delivering six or seven hours. Most of that was based more on tips than just the base pay.
DoorDash doesn’t even mention the drivers in their new press release about the Klarna deal. They just focus it on the customer, which is what they’ve always done anyway. I’d fully expect them to say all deliverers will still be paid the same as they have. The fact that they haven’t makes me wonder if changes are ahead.
Not being paid right away is one of the worst feelings in the world for those who’ve done freelancing work. When I worked as a freelance writer for 15 years, any delayed payment was a big problem. Even though it didn’t happen a lot with me, there were a few times when payments were moved to a week ahead, creating predicaments on getting bills paid on time.
The greatest thing I discovered about DoorDash was the chance to get paid nearly instantly via card transfers. If you had a DasherDirect debit card, all money you made in a day when on that, allowing you to cash in immediately. It was only if you waited for the automatic payment system to pay into a bank account when you had to wait until the upcoming week. Transferring to the DasherDirect card meant a small fee, despite being minuscule. This was worth it just to have the money faster.
With many DoorDash customers no doubt paying later now via Klarna, will deliverers have to wait to get their payments until later in the week or beyond? It’s a valid question to ask considering anyone having to use Klarna is assumed to not have any money…right away. Maybe some have no money at all.
Yes, this means the immediate tips deliverers enjoyed might not happen right away either. How can a customer leave a tip if they haven’t even paid for their food? The base pay for the order would have to be delayed as well since that’s the approximate amount of the order itself.
Unless DoorDash pays the deliverers ahead of time based on what they think the customer is going to do, it may mean delayed payment systems. It would truly turn into freelancing work where payments are just a gamble or guessing game. And that would make DoorDash far less appealing to do for anyone thinking it over.
In a changing world now where getting paid what you’re worth is becoming far less possible, delayed payments at DoorDash would certainly ruin it for me. I’ve taken a break from it in recent months, though would think twice about returning to it if drivers have to wait to be compensated for a full day’s work.
Unfortunately, some may be so desperate to make money, they’ll willingly go along with this if there’s a guarantee of payment within two weeks or more. Unless you have a solid job where you’re paid weekly (as I fortunately do), some people may have to deal with shit just to have the convenience/freedom of Dashing.
This is a mere vent based on what’s out there right now. I’ll do a follow-up if I see evidence to any DoorDash deliverer pay changes. As of this publication, however, I’m expecting something different to payments is going to happen based on customers no doubt being all over the Klarna method.
It just seems unlikely DoorDash would pay the deliverer the same as before if a customer hasn’t paid for their food in full. Corporations would never take such a risk without losing money themselves.
Now, maybe Klarna employed some mob-like figures who’ll knock down the doors of those who don’t pay their food bills. DoorDash should do the same to at least ensure a payment within a week. After all, they do have phone agents who sound like CIA agents. Hearing that on the phone is intimidating enough, believe me.
I’ll plan to cover this topic numerous times based on info I gather, and/or my own experiences if Dashing again soon.
Part XXXIII will now revert back to the self-employment taxes issue originally intended for this space.
/End
Part XXXI: Delivering From or To Adult Stores When Doing Uber Eats/DoorDash
Just about every town or city has an adult store, and that’s usually plural. They’ve been around, legally, for decades throughout America, with many questions and rumors still permeating about what really goes on in those shops. While always talked about by many, let’s not forget they’re run by human beings who also need food & drink delivered to them after, uh, working long hours. And you might even find some rare times when you have to deliver an item from one of them.
For the record: I’ve never picked up a sex toy to be delivered to someone—or at least that I was aware. I’ve seen sex toys and dolls in sealed boxes while working at Amazon, btw. Regardless, I’ve heard stories about people picking up sex toys to be delivered to someone as another category to miscellaneous deliveries.
What I have experienced, officially, is delivering to several adult stores. The big question is: Would you want to pick up from or deliver to one of these stores? Not everyone is going to be ok with such a thing.
My first time delivering to one allowed me to see the inside inventory in all its glory. Let me tell you what you might experience and how to go about it in the right way without embarrassment if you suddenly find yourself there.
Would You Pick Up a Sex Toy Order for Delivery?
According to my research, there haven’t been a lot of deliveries like this. But it’s not that it hasn’t happened once in a while. Some people buy naughty items through sources like Walgreens (a place I picked up from quite often), plus pharmacies. In many of those pick-up scenarios, I never saw what was in the boxes. Walgreens was especially secretive on what I was picking up for a customer.
Apparently some adult stores have worked with DoorDash to get things delivered to people fast. Rather than wait several days for a mail delivery (or going in person), some people want their vibrators—now.
I still remind you that I delivered a lot of miscellaneous items when doing Uber and DoorDash. If I ever delivered an adult toy, it must have been with the “unknown” packages. My guess is Walgreens is where it must have happened if it ever did—namely because they have a pharmacy there. They likely offer various things not openly showcased directly in the store.
While the evidence is there such deliveries have happened for some people, finding out that’s what you’re delivering brings a lot of questions. Would I have delivered a sex toy or related item had I known this is what I was picking up?
I probably would have since nothing was off-limits for me, as long as it paid decently. You have to imagine if someone wants any of those products immediately, they’re willing to pay extra or a large tip to get it to them.
Yeah, when it comes to human satiation, food and sex are likely #1 and #2 for a lot of individuals. When someone’s in the mood, they’re in the mood, regardless if it’s also Popeye’s chicken.
The bigger question is whether someone like you would deliver a sex toy with the knowledge you were delivering that very thing. I know a lot of people, and I’d say it’d be half against and another half who wouldn’t have any problem.
Always live up to your own ethics when it comes to what you deliver with Uber Eats and DoorDash. If you’re under 18 or delivering with your kids, it’s probably a good idea to stick with the food without having to answer a lot of questions. If you’re a couple working together—well, it may be one of the best scenarios. The customer seeing a couple delivering their sex toy may go over better than a single guy or woman.
Would You Deliver Food to an Adult Shop?
You might face the same dilemmas delivering to an adult shop, even if it’s more inevitable if you decide to deliver food & drink. During my two years doing Uber Eats and DoorDash, they’d occasionally have me deliver to other businesses that might be deemed controversial by some.
For the most part, it was delivering to cannabis shops, something that seemed apropos considering even the owners and clerks get the munchies. Delivering to those places never bothered me in the least, though there was always the scent of weed in the air when going in to deliver.
But then, one day, I got a delivery order to Eva’s Boutique, a popular lingerie and sex toy store franchise here in the Oregon valley. This was a standard McDonald’s order, though had never delivered food to an adult store at any time prior. The initial thought was, it’d be no big deal since I’d certainly been around these products before—if not in a retail environment.
You always think you won’t be embarrassed going to an adult store—until people start seeing you park by the door. Being a straight guy, people in the periphery seeing me park at Eva’s offered up a few curious stares. And, naturally, it had to be right next to a busy street here in Salem, Oregon where anyone I might know could easily see me go in.
As with most businesses, I thought it’d be an easy delivery, as in leaving it at the front counter. Yet, once inside, it appeared there wasn’t anyone around. The woman clerk was busy helping a couple interested in the lingerie inventory in the back of the store. This required me to walk through all the aisles to hand the McDonald’s bag to the recipient.
Winding through the aisles enabled me to see nearly every item in the store, including a little detour through the vibrator section. Yes, that also brought on a few interesting side eyes from other customers inside, mostly women.
I finally found the clerk inside. She let out a slight giggle as she saw me standing there, next to an aisle of lubricants while offering her the McDonald’s bag. It was the ultimate clash of Americana in one little store. Instead of handing the bag to her, though, she told me to set it over on a nearby counter.
And out I went, adding another line to my DoorDash delivery experiences. This happened a few other times afterward, albeit being much quicker by dropping off right by the door. Since then, I’ve always wondered how many other DoorDash customers have had similar experiences and how they reacted.
Here’s my advice: Always stay professional and don’t act flustered or embarrassed. You’re going to encounter a lot of interesting places and situations when you do Uber Eats and DoorDash, so always act like you’ve already seen it all. Perhaps you already have if you’re grown up enough.
On the other hand, you might have to explain away delivering to other places, as I had to. After delivering food once to a fertility clinic to help women get pregnant, I had to tell a co-worker why I was going in there after being seen.
If you have to explain to a family member, friend, or co-worker why you were seen by them going into an adult store, it’s best to have some ID on you proving you deliver for DoorDash. In that regard, I almost wish DoorDash would send business cards to prove you work for something nearly resembling the CIA.
In Part XXXII, I’ll be looking at the problem of paying self-employment taxes when working for Uber Eats & DoorDash. If income taxes are abolished (under President Trump), would it increase those who want to deliver food to the public?
/End
Press Release for New e-Book: “Thirty Life Guide Steps to Success Doing Uber Eats & DoorDash”
This little blog aside is to let all readers know that the prior thirty parts/chapters/segments of my Uber Eats/DoorDash series are now compiled into an e-book on the Amazon Kindle Store. Titled “Thirty Life Guide Steps to Success Doing Uber Eats & DoorDash”, it describes exactly what you’ve read before—that is, a life angle to delivering food & drink to the public in the best and most profitable way.
Each segment is now a short “chapter”, albeit re-edited and re-purposed to make it a perennial guide. It retains the somewhat comedic and (hopefully) entertaining qualities, while still being a truly useful reference to help you make some extra money.
The e-book is strictly made to read on Amazon Kindle devices, though will offer a paperback edition if I have enough requests to. Kindle Publishing makes it easy to get the book out there in several different formats without them charging you a cent. Well, part of the residuals still go to them as a payback.
Priced at just $2.99, I promise you you’ll make at least $100 per day (if not more) after reading all my stand-alone tips. At the same time, you can use it as a general way to approach life in a smart way as you work-hustle.
As you may have noticed, I’ve made private (for now) all the prior blog segments that went into the e-book. I’ll be making them available soon just for subscribers on the blog. And the blog will continue in a public format, starting with Part XXXI. I’ve also made Part XXX (Chapter 30 in the book) public as a preview.
The topics I’ll be covering over the next 30 segments are going to broaden in their categories, including being more honest on things. My look at DoorDash and Uber Eats currently comes from an observer standpoint, if still an occasional direct participant. I also still have plenty to say and reveal about my past experiences.
By March of this year (2025), I plan to make the entire blog a subscription-based operation. This may be delayed due to other commitments, but expect that change before long. I’ll be doing this by upgrading my WordPress account to allow for monetization and a subscription service.
I encourage you to take a look at the e-book, something that gives you a comprehensive, unique approach to taking on Uber Eats and DoorDash. It’s a guide you can’t find too many other places, even on DoorDash’s own blog.
See you all again soon with Part XXXI where I address picking up from and/or delivering items to—yes, adult stores.
Part XXX: How Lucrative and Safe is It Delivering Alcohol via Uber Eats and DoorDash?
We all know that alcohol is one of the riskiest edible items to imbibe, especially with health experts expounding on what it can do to the body and mind. With the availability of alcohol increasing due to shops on nearly every block—plus door delivery via apps—the temptation is sometimes overwhelming.
Uber and DoorDash still offer alcohol delivery, as you probably know, even if they’re not the only apps doing that. Some apps are made exclusively to deliver any kind of libation available. Questionably-named Saucey and QuickLiq are just two examples.
While working for Uber Eats, I had the opportunity to deliver alcohol fairly early. They made it just an option, including requiring proof you were old enough to deliver. At first, I declined with the thought it would lead to unwanted issues. Stories were out there about deliverers encountering drunk people, which meant having to refuse them the delivery. In those scenarios, it could sometimes lead to the recipient having conniptions due to not getting their whiskey fix.
It took a while until I finally accepted alcohol deliveries. But, by that point, it was through DoorDash who seemed to sell it better to me. And so it began on delivering alcohol to various customers, not always singularly. Many deliveries were just delivering beer with a combination of other items from places like 7-Eleven.
Very rarely, I’d deliver a singular alcoholic item. For the most part, though, many people just wanted relatively mild alcoholic drinks rather than heavy stuff like whiskey or brandy.
You’ll want to know what to expect if you decide to deliver alcoholic drinks to your customer base. You may find out most people are cooperative when it comes to scanning their ID on your phone. However, you might encounter one or two people who seem high—albeit not on alcohol.
Steps for Delivering Alcohol to Customers
DoorDash will always remind you that you need to ask the customer for their ID if you have alcoholic drinks in your order pick-up. Sometimes you might see drink cans that don’t look like they contain alcohol, yet they do.
Be sure to pay attention to this since not asking for ID from the customer will end up getting you terminated at Uber or DoorDash. You might notice the majority of customers order alcohol in cans rather than bottles. This is a good thing since transporting whiskey bottles could potentially break. Not that many whiskey brands don’t just place their contents in plastic bottles nowadays.
Still, delivering large cans of beer and other alcoholic drinks can be very heavy to lift. I once had to deliver several six packs of beer to a recipient. It required several trips back and forth to my car to get it all to the person’s door.
When you deliver your first alcoholic drink to your customer, you need to learn how to use the ID verification system. This might be a little confusing at first, but my first recipient for alcohol helped me through the steps. Yes, a large percentage of your alcohol delivery customers are going to be ones who’ve done the online verification process many times before.
The first thing you need to do is use your phone’s camera to capture the person’s ID to prove they’re over 21. As with all technology, this can sometimes glitch, especially if the person doesn’t hold their ID card steady while you take the photo. Expect, once again, to let the customer snatch away your phone to take the photo themselves.
Once done, you have to wait for the verification to finalize. During one delivery, I lost cell service for a short time, leading to several tries on re-sending the customer’s ID. Remember this also requires an e-signature besides, making the whole process a bit protracted. Blame it on the alcohol and all the past abuse for the multi-steps.
I got the hang of everything after a while, making all subsequent alcohol deliveries much easier. It also helped that all the recipients knew the steps better than I did, making it a faster procedure every time.
So, you probably wonder if I encountered any drunk people. Perhaps some were drunk, though I couldn’t detect it being close to them. Based on my personal observations, they were legal age and sober to take the drinks I was delivering. Then again, we all know some alcoholics can drink and not even show any signs they’re inebriated.
You’re supposed to refuse delivery if you see any signs of the customer being drunk. Only one time did I sit on the fence (not literally) with a customer. Let me tell you what happened so you can be prepared yourself.
Is the Customer Drunk, or Just High On Another Substance?
Out of all alcohol deliveries I made, 98% were trouble-free. On one day in 2023, however, I delivered some canned alcoholic drinks to a young woman. When approaching the door, I could see her in her living room, appearing to talk on her phone.
I rang the doorbell, but she seemed to ignore me standing there. After several doorbell rings, I figured she wasn’t going to come to the door, which would require driving back to return the drinks. Not wanting to do that to save time, I just spoke up through her screen door that she needed to provide ID for the delivery.
First she muddled to me to just leave the order by the door, setting off a bit of a red flag. This customer appeared to be trying to get her alcohol without providing ID first. I kindly reminded her she had to come out and provide ID or I couldn’t deliver to her.
As she walked over to the door, I could clearly see she was high on something. But, I could tell the difference that it was likely a cannabis high rather than being drunk. I’d seen enough drunk people in my life to know the difference.
With that revelation, I had to decide whether to deliver to her or not. Since she likely wasn’t drunk, I figured I could legally deliver. The ensuing problem was waiting for her to get her ID out of her purse. Unfortunately, she claimed she couldn’t find it as she dug through her bag.
After waiting 15 minutes, she finally found it and brought it out for me to photo. All ended well, if still leaving me wonder if I’d encounter more people like this. To date, there hasn’t been anyone similar. It’s still a warning for you to make the best possible judgement when you see someone who appears high. Knowing the difference between a cannabis high and an alcoholic high is very valuable.
In as few words as possible: A cannabis high is usually signs of more absent-mindedness, while a drunk high is stumbling around and/or slurring words.
How Much Do Alcoholic Deliveries Pay?
Delivering alcohol can pay just about the same (sometimes slightly more) as delivering food. I still say that delivering pharma drugs and other miscellaneous items can be more lucrative. It just depends on how expensive the particular product is.
Since many of the customers I encountered were buying beer or various canned alcoholic drinks, it paid equal with food orders. There isn’t quite as much of a rush delivering alcohol either as with food—despite not having an hour for the delivery window.
It’s up to you to decide on delivering alcohol. Don’t always expect a lot of them, including on holidays. I was shocked that when attempting to deliver for New Year’s Eve in 2023, I had zero alcoholic deliveries. This proves, again, perhaps people want to buy their alcohol in person on holidays, if not already having it at home.
I’d recommend signing up for alcohol deliveries, just to gain the experience. It can lead to some interesting social situations you’ll learn from in the end. This is my further proof to you that life and Uber Eats/DoorDash kind of go together in the learning curves.
Wrap-Up:
With the above in mind, I move forward now with another 30 chapters while the previous segments are made available only to subscribers. The reason: I just published an e-book on Amazon Kindle Store that has all prior chapters re-edited for use as a perpetual Uber Eats/DoorDash e-guide. I’ll be doing a separate segment next that acts as its own press release for the book.
In the meantime, this is the only chapter from the e-book that’ll be made public. Feel free to subscribe if you want to read the blog editions of those prior chapters. But all upcoming blog segments will now be more of an outsider view of Uber Eats and DoorDash, not including looking back on my past experiences to inform any analysis or opinions.
Plus, the topics are going to be a lot broader (and perhaps wilder) in how to do Ubering and Dashing. As life gets crazier in our times, it requires looking at every possible scenario in delivering food & drink in the most sane and smartest ways.
/End
“Compassion Fatigue” Excerpt— by Greg Brian (Published January, 2022)
(A new micro-fiction piece is forthcoming on Amazon, but not until January. In the meantime, give a read to the opening few pages to set up this tale. It’s loosely based on a real incident.)
The ad for “Marilyn Benson L.M.H.C.” immediately caught my eye in my morning newspaper. She was offering mental health counseling to anyone, yet practicing without face to face contact. It allowed her to hide her identity in a shadow, but still dispense real therapy advice to her clients.
I conceptualized this as a form of confession booth, something never before tried in the field of therapy. It was an attractive idea from someone like me who’d been to numerous therapists, yet always froze when having to talk in the open to someone about my personal problems.
My newest particular issue was one pulverizing my soul. It involved the search for a relative of my former nanny, Mrs. Honeycutt, who cared for me from infancy to the age of four.
It was my nanny’s niece who I remember visiting and becoming close to. She seemed to understand my infantile problems and bonded well enough where she became almost like a close blood relative. After a while, she nearly usurped the duties of my nanny, albeit only for a couple of years.
Her name was Theresa, and she always remained relatively vivid in my subconscious, despite losing touch after she moved away to another state. It’s been over 35 years with never any attempt at recontact. Then I took a recent whim in attempting to reach out by using a basic online people search.
What I found was an initial dead-end of names that involved having to dig deeper to find her married surname.
It was enough information to track down what appeared to be a bare bones social media account where I attempted to reconnect. My initial internal message to her sat idle for two weeks, waiting with the assumption she’d have the same quality of past memory I have.
After the third week, I was hit with a devastating reality: I was blocked by her because she seemed to have no idea who I was. No response was ever going to happen only because she clearly had no knowledge of who I was as an adult.
This flung me into a private, unwavering, cavernous depression. While I’d managed to reconnect with other old friends in my life after 20 or more years of no communication, this one turned out different.
It made me wonder what I might have said wrong in my initial message and if it seemed overly intrusive. I also brought a weighted pall on myself for seemingly waiting decades to reconnect with important people in my life.
This led me into an inexorable identity crisis that had me looking for therapists to work out whether it was me…or the world at large.
“Marilyn Benson’s” new therapeutical methods seemed just what I needed after wanting something different from the usual. Experimenting with a new form of therapy was theoretically appealing to cleanse my mind and find new ways to look at what my life really is.
She’d have to help me examine how I communicate and whether words I created were consistently misconstrued. Going in to her office with that frame of reference was still a risk, not knowing if I’d run into yet another therapist who acted as personal dictator in telling me how to overhaul my life.
When I arrived to Benson’s office two weeks later on a Friday morning, I noticed she designed her property so all clients could enter from the back area. I found this attractive at first sight considering the front façade was a busy part of the city where everyone in town could see me go in.
The trip here was not short either. It required traveling to another state to partake in her therapy experiment.
I booked a nearby hotel for one week with the assumption I could get helped within a short time. That was also to give more flexibility in case Benson’s therapy experiment was just a little too off the wall or too much to tolerate.
Along with the entrance in the back, the building itself was basically an unmarked structure. While I’d heard that some therapists used less obvious buildings or apartments to hold their therapy sessions, this one was almost like a ghost brownstone.
It appeared she’d rented out the entire building as her work and home base, something very noticeable when going in the back entrance. The first thing I could see was she was very careful not to reveal anything about the confines of her living spaces. Partitions were put up to hide personal photographs, furniture, or any sign of the living room.
Signs with arrows pointed how to get to her office. Before reaching that door, she had a masculine-looking woman secretary stationed at a mahogany desk. I took that as the probable reality the secretary knew a million martial arts moves to protect this area if someone tried to do anything violent.
I didn’t make any attempt to say I thought it was Benson’s bodyguard, though I politely asked if she was “Mrs. Benson’s personal assistant.”
She uttered in the affirmative, though she didn’t know I arrived using an alias, just in case this was a sick therapeutical joke that could drag my real name into dirt.
At least I knew they hadn’t vetted me beforehand based on the secretary uttering my name three times to Benson on the phone before going in. Benson had finally found my faux name on her schedule, a calendar apparently very full.
“You can go in. But watch your step. It’s darker than the typical therapist office,” the assistant said in a deep timbre.
I walked up to the door, stopped a second to think it over, then opened the door slower than I ever had any other.
The door had a slight creak as it opened, making it feel like entering a locally-produced haunted house for Halloween. All I could see was a dark void for a minute, then my eyes adjusted enough to see this was an attractive office.
Along the side of the walls were modern wooden cabinets with what looked like lacquerware vases and bowls. On another nearby cabinet, I spied what appeared to be Ikebana flower arrangements.
An ambiance like this made me contemplate Benson was an internationally cultured therapist, a good sign she wasn’t the biggest professional joke on the planet.
It felt like walking up to see the Wizard of Oz, an eerie parallel when Benson called out from behind a dark partition without any pyromania.
“Come in! You know my rules. Feel free to relax on my chaise lounge, but use your time wisely. I’m here to help you get through any life conflict,” she said in what sounded like a put-on performance art cadence.
I could see the outline of Benson, though she was sitting in a dark void with curtains drawn and no artificial lighting around. It was clear she was a real woman based on her shape, even if I could only see the top part of her body.
“Hi. I’m…just glad you’re seemingly real,” I blurted while not hesitating to settle into her chaise. It was the most comfortable lounge chair I’d ever sunk into in a therapist’s office. I took this as a deliberate way to make her clients overly comfortable.
“I see your name is Charlie Daley. That doesn’t sound like a real name to me. Do you want to come clean before we delve into your troubles?” Benson said without a beat.
All I could do was stare into the dark void for a few seconds to process what she just said. She’d apparently seen far too much bullshit in her career and wasn’t about to let anyone make a mockery of her unusual practice.
“Ok, it’s not”, I uttered. “Can we just go ahead with the conceit for a while to give me a feel for what you can offer me?”
“We’ll see whether that really brings your truth out,” Benson replied.
Her vocal timbre almost snapped me out of any pretense. It seemed her voice was locked into my brain like a form of ASMR, giving me the impulse that I had to cooperate.
Still, I had to assure her my problem was real and I was a real person rather than a performance artist.
________
The Human Project 