Part XXXI: Delivering From or To Adult Stores When Doing Uber Eats/DoorDash

Just about every town or city has an adult store, and that’s usually plural. They’ve been around, legally, for decades throughout America, with many questions and rumors still permeating about what really goes on in those shops. While always talked about by many, let’s not forget they’re run by human beings who also need food & drink delivered to them after, uh, working long hours. And you might even find some rare times when you have to deliver an item from one of them.

For the record: I’ve never picked up a sex toy to be delivered to someone—or at least that I was aware. I’ve seen sex toys and dolls in sealed boxes while working at Amazon, btw. Regardless, I’ve heard stories about people picking up sex toys to be delivered to someone as another category to miscellaneous deliveries.

What I have experienced, officially, is delivering to several adult stores. The big question is: Would you want to pick up from or deliver to one of these stores? Not everyone is going to be ok with such a thing. 

My first time delivering to one allowed me to see the inside inventory in all its glory. Let me tell you what you might experience and how to go about it in the right way without embarrassment if you suddenly find yourself there.

Would You Pick Up a Sex Toy Order for Delivery?

According to my research, there haven’t been a lot of deliveries like this. But it’s not that it hasn’t happened once in a while. Some people buy naughty items through sources like Walgreens (a place I picked up from quite often), plus pharmacies. In many of those pick-up scenarios, I never saw what was in the boxes. Walgreens was especially secretive on what I was picking up for a customer.

Apparently some adult stores have worked with DoorDash to get things delivered to people fast. Rather than wait several days for a mail delivery (or going in person), some people want their vibrators—now. 

I still remind you that I delivered a lot of miscellaneous items when doing Uber and DoorDash. If I ever delivered an adult toy, it must have been with the “unknown” packages. My guess is Walgreens is where it must have happened if it ever did—namely because they have a pharmacy there. They likely offer various things not openly showcased directly in the store.

While the evidence is there such deliveries have happened for some people, finding out that’s what you’re delivering brings a lot of questions. Would I have delivered a sex toy or related item had I known this is what I was picking up?

I probably would have since nothing was off-limits for me, as long as it paid decently. You have to imagine if someone wants any of those products immediately, they’re willing to pay extra or a large tip to get it to them. 

Yeah, when it comes to human satiation, food and sex are likely #1 and #2 for a lot of individuals. When someone’s in the mood, they’re in the mood, regardless if it’s also Popeye’s chicken.

The bigger question is whether someone like you would deliver a sex toy with the knowledge you were delivering that very thing. I know a lot of people, and I’d say it’d be half against and another half who wouldn’t have any problem. 

Always live up to your own ethics when it comes to what you deliver with Uber Eats and DoorDash. If you’re under 18 or delivering with your kids, it’s probably a good idea to stick with the food without having to answer a lot of questions. If you’re a couple working together—well, it may be one of the best scenarios. The customer seeing a couple delivering their sex toy may go over better than a single guy or woman.

Would You Deliver Food to an Adult Shop?

You might face the same dilemmas delivering to an adult shop, even if it’s more inevitable if you decide to deliver food & drink. During my two years doing Uber Eats and DoorDash, they’d occasionally have me deliver to other businesses that might be deemed controversial by some.

For the most part, it was delivering to cannabis shops, something that seemed apropos considering even the owners and clerks get the munchies. Delivering to those places never bothered me in the least, though there was always the scent of weed in the air when going in to deliver.

But then, one day, I got a delivery order to Eva’s Boutique, a popular lingerie and sex toy store franchise here in the Oregon valley. This was a standard McDonald’s order, though had never delivered food to an adult store at any time prior. The initial thought was, it’d be no big deal since I’d certainly been around these products before—if not in a retail environment.

You always think you won’t be embarrassed going to an adult store—until people start seeing you park by the door. Being a straight guy, people in the periphery seeing me park at Eva’s offered up a few curious stares. And, naturally, it had to be right next to a busy street here in Salem, Oregon where anyone I might know could easily see me go in.

As with most businesses, I thought it’d be an easy delivery, as in leaving it at the front counter. Yet, once inside, it appeared there wasn’t anyone around. The woman clerk was busy helping a couple interested in the lingerie inventory in the back of the store. This required me to walk through all the aisles to hand the McDonald’s bag to the recipient.

Winding through the aisles enabled me to see nearly every item in the store, including a little detour through the vibrator section. Yes, that also brought on a few interesting side eyes from other customers inside, mostly women.

I finally found the clerk inside. She let out a slight giggle as she saw me standing there, next to an aisle of lubricants while offering her the McDonald’s bag. It was the ultimate clash of Americana in one little store. Instead of handing the bag to her, though, she told me to set it over on a nearby counter. 

And out I went, adding another line to my DoorDash delivery experiences. This happened a few other times afterward, albeit being much quicker by dropping off right by the door. Since then, I’ve always wondered how many other DoorDash customers have had similar experiences and how they reacted.

Here’s my advice: Always stay professional and don’t act flustered or embarrassed. You’re going to encounter a lot of interesting places and situations when you do Uber Eats and DoorDash, so always act like you’ve already seen it all. Perhaps you already have if you’re grown up enough.

On the other hand, you might have to explain away delivering to other places, as I had to. After delivering food once to a fertility clinic to help women get pregnant, I had to tell a co-worker why I was going in there after being seen. 

If you have to explain to a family member, friend, or co-worker why you were seen by them going into an adult store, it’s best to have some ID on you proving you deliver for DoorDash. In that regard, I almost wish DoorDash would send business cards to prove you work for something nearly resembling the CIA.

In Part XXXII, I’ll be looking at the problem of paying self-employment taxes when working for Uber Eats & DoorDash. If income taxes are abolished (under President Trump), would it increase those who want to deliver food to the public? 

/End